Attitudes to memories of created follies, ridiculous situations and miscalculations in each person cause special emotions. Someone doesn’t like the past, in which he didn’t appear at his best, someone is looking for the guilty, and someone turns similar stories into a reason to laugh, or even be proud of their rich experience. Opinions can change dramatically as soon as it comes to the need to tell your children about the former.
All parents want the relationship between them and their heirs to be perfect. Accordingly, one’s own beliefs, which do not coincide with the generally accepted standard, need to be audited. Toddlers should get the best, including the very best dad and mom. Often in pursuit of these images, a person loses his true appearance, which his child so needs.
Being a superhero to your children is natural. Insecurity in their powers prompts some personas not a good idea – artificially to create in the eyes of the child the image of an infallible person. Then these unfortunate ones are tormented by fear of exposure. Indeed, it may so happen that the main viewer of their performance will notice some lack of the protagonist and become disappointed in it.
Are the petty fears of an adult deceiver comparable to that world of horror in which their chado inhabits? The child observes the lives of impeccable people, but periodically makes mistakes. A sense of his own inferiority haunts him constantly. Naturally, you can ask for advice from your idol, but the same has never been in such situations, will not understand, condemn, just ashamed to admit that it is not possible to conform to the family standard.
people who are motivated by absolutely different motives can tell children tirelessly about the foolishness committed:
- Antihero parents, who are afraid, $ that the child will repeat their sad way. They don’t realize that a child is also part of their non-casing life, and they may have quite the opposite view of the surrounding reality.
- Hero parents who aren’t afraid of having a child is their full copy. They draw the way for the baby in advance with an abundance of trouble and bad deeds. When a child grows up, he may not show interest in such adventures, but as a child will try to do everything the older ones demand from him. Meet antiheroes who do not conduct a targeted information attack on children, but share in their presence memories with their buddies.
Both types of parents risk becoming absolutely incomprehensible geezers in the eyes of their own children. The imposed scheme of action at a certain point will begin to gravitate the younger man. He will not just give it up, but start protesting, committing a string of stupid acts contrary to the instructions of older family members.
Talk about mistakes
All the examples of wrong parenting described above are generated by an incorrect attitude to dialogue with child. A grown man denies himself as an individual for the sake of having his descendant admire something artificial. Would someone who instead of dad and mom had characters from the pages of imaginary books be happy? No, because isolation has a negative effect on the emerging psyche, and the simulated images will never be close people for the kid.
So, or else the person mentions his mistakes. No need to be shy about that. Once these episodes stop causing an acute emotional reaction in an adult, they will stop presenting them as some mystical value that must either be concealed or demonstrated on every corner. As a rule, the most calmly spoken about miscalculations are with the closest people. It is necessary to include one’s children in the circle.
Why it is necessary for children
Child in the right to be familiar with their parents. He should know that they were doing ridiculousness too, know how they feel about their experience. This will allow him to take his own sins calmer and, if necessary, ask for advice from the senior. Sometimes there will be no direct request for help, there will be imitation of the closest person who has found a way out of a difficult situation.
A very important point is the right to not disclose any unpleasant details. It should not be concluded from all of the above that parents are not in the right to refuse to live individual unsympathetic episodes from their lives. They simply shouldn’t respond to the child’s questions with a radical denial that they have made similar mistakes. Let the child understand that parents are not ready to talk about something now. He himself should have the same right and seek advice only when he wants it.