If wife earns more, blame husband?
One of the cornerstones of marriage is mutual respect. And here lies the problem, often because of stereotypes, own attitudes and other important things, respect for a man is formed on the basis of his material situation and financial opportunities. It is believed that if a woman earns a lot and a husband does little, he is a loser, a hunky man, a podbalist and an ankle.
Strange, but the fact — from Internet conferences, psychological seminars and trainings it seems that the only criterion for evaluating a man is money.
So, first of all, for a comfortable coexistence in such a situation, it is necessary to change the coordinate system. Surely you have a lot of things for which you can respect the husband — he is willing to sit with the kids, cooks admirably, loves his job, does his favorite thing, saves the planet… Don’t operate outdated clichés. And by no means sawn your husband if he’s trying to make a difference or just proud of you and struggling to support in your job.
More pay – more problems?
But if the husband in every possible way negatively responds to the salary of the wife, experiences complexes and is tormented, something must be done with it. Otherwise, the current situation can undercut marriage and lead to divorce.
If the husband is annoyed by the current situation, he should think about finding a new job and new sources of income. If he does his best to do it, stock up on calm and patience, things will change, and things will work out in the family. Don
‘t share information with your friends and friends that you earn more than your husband. This can lead to misunderstanding.
Well, if the husband does nothing, but constantly criticizes you (complains about the lack of attention to him beloved and children, grumbles about the mess, believes, that you too rarely cook), you need to understand the real reasons for the situation. It’s possible that your man is happy about the current state of affairs. Firstly, he has no financial problems, and secondly, he can endlessly dump all the existing discontent on his wife. Psychologists believe that similar problems arise when male smugness is overlooked.
Unfortunately, all recommendations in this situation are addressed to women:
1.$ Be sure to discuss the situation with your husband.
2. Don’t take the help of your husband’s au pair, for granted. Praise and thank the man as he washes dishes, vacuums or washes laundry. Ideally, women’s work in the field of the household should also be rewarded with praise, but women are easier to come to terms with its absence.
3. Arrangement that the money (or part of it) is kept in a special place from where both you and the husband can take it.
4. Never compare your husband to successful friends or relatives. It hurts smugness very badly.