Once again pro coffee, or Why men are less likely to pay for a girl on a date

Opinion of sociologists

 In the 20th century, the relationship between men and women has changed a lot. Women have achieved equal rights with men. Modern emancipated ladies can dress in men’s clothing, do not use cosmetics, earn no worse than many members of the strong sex and defend their rights everywhere and everywhere.

Many modern women don’t want to feel their dependence on men even in things like paying for coffee in a coffee shop or restaurant. So before the date immediately put the condition that they will pay for themselves. In this situation, after the meeting, they will not even subconsciously feel that they owe anything to the cavalier who paid for them.

And this practice of relationships has not appeared here and now. It originated in the second half of the 20th century and has been practiced for several decades.

During this time, men managed to change as well. Many of them no longer feel greedy and stingy, refusing to pay for a girl on a date, after all separately paying a coffee bill is quite normal practice nowadays, isn’t it?

Psychology men

Psychologists say men from the very first moment of dating try to make woman either by friend or mistress or wife. And the attitude of the partner to their partner depends on it.

If a guy tries to meet a girl just for a love affair, he will pay for her very rarely or never pay for her. He will behave brash, bold and forthright his claim to an intimate relationship with her. And he won’t pay for her because he satisfies her physically and emotionally. In this relationship between the sexes, women often themselves sincerely and gratuitously invest money in the lover: pay for him and throw expensive gifts.

If the young man is quite arranged by a friendly relationship with the girl, then he will pay her petty expenses (such as coffee) at will. But often will try to split them in half, because they are friends!

If a man seriously falls in love with a woman and tries to make her his wife, he begins to demonstrate in every possible way his reliability, solvency and ability to take a load of her problems on his shoulders. In such relationships, the guy pays for everything himself. The girl, in turn, demonstrates her ability to cook and keep order in the home of a potential husband.

Financial psychology

In today’s world, men’s costs for a pretty girl are very high. Meetings in inexpensive cafes a couple of times a week, gifts, movies, taxis and flowers a month can easily spill into the equivalent of the average salary.

Not all young people earn much enough to invest in a girl. Especially since even after a few dates or even after months of relationships, the couple can break up.

On the basis of such considerations, young people from the first date try not to pay for the woman. They don’t want to invest in the relationship without being sure that the girl will put something in them too.

The man starts investing in his girlfriend only when he realizes he wants to connect his future with her. And on the first date young people for each other absolutely nobody and strangers. Therefore, no one owes anything to anyone, including pay, feed, etc.


Many men on the first date arrange for girls various checks, including mercantility.

In light option, a young man invites the girl to an inexpensive cafe and offers to pay for coffee each for himself. In the hard version the girl is invited to an expensive restaurant, and then it turns out that the man “forgot” the purse at home. In both cases, the man closely observes the reaction of his new acquaintance and draws conclusions for himself.

The most important conclusion that the representative of the strong sex will make in this situation is whether he will be a “walking purse” for his girlfriend or not.

Exceptional cases

In some cases a man cannot pay for a girl on a date even if he wants to. Most students are from among them. Those who have temporarily lost their jobs or are “stranded” can be counted among them. But the lack of money isn’t always a reason to give up a date with the girl of your dreams. Especially since after some time, when the money comes in, she may already be busy.

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